how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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