But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Panties = found
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
