you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
