I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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