Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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