I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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