Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
