using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
