Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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