This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
smell my finger.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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