just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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