His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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