let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
