He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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