During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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