She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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