allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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