I am midnight drunk by noon
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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