It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
