She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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