You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
