you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
