It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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