and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
