I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
