so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
