are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
