Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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