Plan B is the new Plan A
He kissed a someone with a penis
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
