Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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