Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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