it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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