i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
