even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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