Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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