How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
