You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
