He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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