Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This is the high leading the old right now
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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