Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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