I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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