big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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