he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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