Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
