Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
