so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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