I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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