dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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