Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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