Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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