My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
