I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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