I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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