is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
